


hey brother

by bisexualtelepath



Series: Irregularity: A D&D Group Chat AU [9]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Original Work, The Irregulars - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Baking, Found Family, we meet a soft boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 11:12:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16407389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualtelepath/pseuds/bisexualtelepath
Summary: Ranger Danger: Alright you little shitsRanger Danger: The day has comeEasy Bree-zy: oh gods we’re not readyBongo Bastard: ! ! ! ! !Orias: Did everyone clean their rooms?G0neR0gue: Wait what is happeningRanger Danger: My brother is visiting! He’s staying with us!!





	hey brother

[October 26, 2018 8:30 AM]

**Ranger Danger:** Alright you little shits

**Ranger Danger:** The day has come

**Easy Bree-zy:** oh gods we’re not ready

**Bongo Bastard:** ! ! ! ! !

**Orias:** Did everyone clean their rooms?

**Bongo Bastard:** Bree cleaned our room while I played music real loud

**Medicine Boy:** I’m actually a little excited

**G0neR0gue:** Wait what is happening

**Ranger Danger:** My brother is visiting! He’s staying with us!!

**Easy Bree-zy:** it’s been on the calendar

**Bongo Bastard:** I love campus tour season 

**G0neR0gue:** Same

**G0neR0gue:** Cant wait to scare a bunch of literal babies

**Ranger Danger:** NO SCARING MY BROTHER

**Medicine Boy:** Wait do you scare them… on purpose

**Orias:** Yes she does

**Medicine Boy:** Is that why you ‘dropped’ your dagger near my foot the first time I came over

**G0neR0gue:** Yes and Yes

**Medicine Boy:** I mean it worked

**Ranger Danger:** Can I add Paelias to this chat for the weekend

**Orias:** Sure, why not?

**Easy Bree-zy:** that is an awful idea

**Bongo Bastard:** A NEW FRIEND

**Easy Bree-zy:** do it

**Ranger Danger** _ added  _ **Paelias** _ to the group. _

**G0neR0gue:** Youre gonna regret that

**Bongo Bastard:** HI ALTHAEA’S BROTHER I’M LAZ WE ARE FRIENDS NOW

**Easy Bree-zy:** hi Paelias! what are your favorite cookies

**Paelias:** ...hi? 

**Orias:** In hindsight, maybe this isn’t the best idea

**Medicine Boy:** What’s up I’m Gareth 

**G0neR0gue:** Hes 19 and he never fuckin learned how to read

**Orias:** I’m Orias, it’s good to meet you!

**Ranger Danger:** Paelias, meet the Irregulars

**Ranger Danger:** Irregulars, go easy on him

**G0neR0gue:** Then how will he learn

**Easy Bree-zy:** if it helps we’re usually worse than this

**Paelias:** I don’t think it does

**Paelias:** I was surprised enough Althaea had friends

**Medicine Boy:** OH SHIT

**Paelias:** Extroverted friends? Wild

**Bongo Bastard:** DRAG HER

**Ranger Danger:** I brought you into this world I can take you out of it

**Orias:** No???

**Paelias:** You can try

**Easy Bree-zy:** favorite cookie Paelias, the clock is ticking

**Paelias:** I don’t… have a preference?

**Medicine Boy:** That’s the wrong answer

**Easy Bree-zy:** Cookie Explosion, coming right up

**G0neR0gue:** Fuck me not again

**Bongo Bastard:** FUCK YES

**Easy Bree-zy:** everyone in the kitchen (except Dad you have class)

**Orias:** Thank you

**Ranger Danger:** I have class too

**Easy Bree-zy:** you weren’t gonna go 

**Ranger Danger:** That’s fair

**Paelias:** Is this a regular thing?

**Orias:** Semi regular, yeah

**Orias:** Bree stress bakes a lot during finals and stuff

**Bongo Bastard:** Bree is our mom and Orias is our dad

**Medicine Boy:** Should I also roll up to the kitchen

**Easy Bree-zy:** you can be moral support

**G0neR0gue:** Can I… not

**Bongo Bastard:** The more the merrier!

**Ranger Danger:** Sure, if you don’t want cookies

**G0neR0gue:** Bleh

**Paelias:** I’m gonna hit the road, so I’ll see you guys in like an hour

**Ranger Danger:** Can’t wait!

[9:38 AM]

**Orias:** How did this flour trail even reach the foyer

**Ranger Danger:** ...Determination?

**Bongo Bastard:** You’re not supposed to be here? Why are you here

**Orias:** My class got out early

**Bongo Bastard:** Oh okay!

**Easy Bree-zy:** put on an apron we’ve got work to do

**Easy Bree-zy:** we’ve run out of oatmeal, and SOMEONE put cayenne in the chocolate chip 

**G0neR0gue:** I wont apologize

**Orias:** And why is Gareth in the living room blasting Katy Perry?

**Medicine Boy:** I cannot be trusted

**Bongo Bastard:** He’s on spotify duty

**Ranger Danger:** He fed Ookami cookie dough and put a quarter CUP of salt instead of a quarter teaspoon

**Medicine Boy:** IT WAS A SMALL FONT

**Easy Bree-zy:** USE COMMON FUCKING SENSE WE’RE AGAINST THE CLOCK

**Orias:** OKAY NO YELLING

**Bomgo Bastard:** :(

**G0neR0gue:** I changed my mind this is the best

[9:51 A.M.]

**Paelias:** Okay I think I’m here

**Paelias:** Does your house have like… the giantest of pride flags

**Paelias:** Did you guys make that? It’s cool!

[9:53 A.M.]

**Paelias:** OH ALL YOUR SEPERATE FLAGS ARE ON THE BACK THAT’S COOL AS HECK

[9:56 A.M.]

**Paelias:** Hello?

**Easy Bree-zy:** we will be with you in a minute holy hells

**Ranger Danger:** Give us a sec

**Paelias:** ...Are you guys okay?

**G0neR0gue:** Never

**Medicine Boy:** Okay is relative

**Bongo Bastard:** You betcha!

**G0neR0gue:** You motherfuckers are lucky Im fire resistant

**Ranger Danger:** You can let yourself in btw

**Orias:** What did I say about leaving the front door open

**Bongo Bastard:** …Not to do it?

**Paelias:** I mean, I can wait? If you want?

**Easy Bree-zy:** fair warning we are a mess rn

**Ranger Danger:** You can’t pet Ookami from the car

**Paelias:** Oh worm here I come

**Easy Bree-zy:** you can follow the flour trail to the kitchen

**Medicine Boy:** This really is how we are tho 

**Medicine Boy:** Like, a true reflection of Us

**G0neR0gue:** Shut up Gareth

**Medicine Boy:** Okay

**Orias:** Stop being mean to our boy

**Paelias:** Althaea you have frosting in your hair

**Bongo Bastard:** Oh there she go!

**Orias:** This is really sweet

**Orias:** :’)

**G0neR0gue:** Too sweet. I might barf

**Easy Bree-zy:** now I want a hug

**Bongo Bastard:** Okay!!

**Medicine Boy:** Should we… go?

**Orias:** Yeah let’s give them a minute

**Orias:** We’ll see you guys in a few!

[10:07 A.M.]

**Paelias:** Did you guys make all these cookies… for me?

**Bongo Bastard:** I mean we want some

**Easy Bree-zy:** bless you for not mentioning the unspeakable disaster in that kitchen

**Orias:** We wanted to make you feel welcome!

**Easy Bree-zy:** left to right is spicy hot chocolate, spicy chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, snickerdoodles, and sugar cookies

**G0neR0gue:** At least three of each kind are poisoned

**Easy Bree-zy:** she’s lying 

**G0neR0gue:** Or am I? 

**Medicine Boy:** I wouldn’t usually risk it but like.... Bree’s cookies

**Bongo Bastard:** ^^^

**Paelias:** How did Thaea even find you guys you’re all so nice

**Orias:** On a bus like… October of freshman year?

**Easy Bree-zy:** the bus driver tried to kick Ookami off the bus and we protecc

**Easy Bree-zy:** also… Thaea

**G0neR0gue:** THAEA

**Ranger Danger:** It’s… my name

**Bongo Bastard:** It’s cute!!

**Medicine Boy:** I think that’s the problem

**Medicine Boy:** It’s too cute

**Ranger Danger:** I could kill you with my bare hands

**G0neR0gue:** But Thaea couldnt

**Paelias:** I’ve decided I am going to make you all flower crowns

**Paelias:** What are your fave colors

**Easy Bree-zy:** ORANGE HOLY FUCK

**Medicine Boy:** Yellow

**Orias:** I like brown

**Bongo Bastard:** !!!!!!!!!

**G0neR0gue:** Black 

**Bongo Bastard:** Red! Like my bongos!!!!

**Easy Bree-zy:** You’re my new favorite it’s official

**Paelias:** :D

**Ranger Danger:** Yeah he’s kinda the best huh

**Ranger Danger:** I’m gonna help my brother get settled, we’ll come by each of your rooms in a few 

**Bongo Bastard:** Okay!!

**Paelias:** Btw these are actually amazing 

**Paelias:** The chocolate chip cayenne works it’s the coolest thing

**G0neR0gue:** ...you can stay


End file.
